¤ It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going
to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
¤ Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't
¤ Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced,
you can't be promoted.
¤ No one is listening until you fart.
¤ Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone
¤ Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
¤ Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile
in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
¤ If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for
¤ Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach
him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
¤ If you lend someone $20 and never see that person
again, it was probably worth it.
¤ If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember
¤ Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.
¤ Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
¤ Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot
of that comes from bad judgment.
¤ The quickest way to double your money is to fold it
in half and put it back in your pocket.
¤ A closed mouth gathers no foot.
¤ Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and
a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
¤ There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither
¤ Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when
your lips are moving.
¤ Experience is something you don't get until just after
you need it.
¤ Never miss a good chance to shut up.
**There is your daily moment of Zen...EnJoY!**